But there have been things… small things. Things I’d like to tell you about but just haven’t had the time to. So I’d like to give a quick summary in hopes you’ll be all like, “whoa, I want to hear more about THAT” and then you’d bug me to write more until I literally have no choice but to just take a week off of work and write the hell out of this blog and we all feel better about the whole thing.

So… I’ve gotten way into salsa. I ate mushrooms and didn’t hate them. I’ve been sick three times. I’m really sick right now. I’ve fainted once. I’ve gone on two internet dates. One of these ended with my date calling me “interesting.” I’ve been asked to go on an internet date to a pet cemetary. My inability to dance with women has been revealed as the source of a “sexual energy crisis” in the city of San Francisco. I took motorcycle lessons and was the BEST IN CLASS. I don’t have my motorcycle license yet. I’m compiling lists of good shit from 2008. I’ve gotten a-okay at Rock Band drumming. I’m now intimately familiar with music by offensively boring bands like Boys Like Girls and Metro Station and have had to listen to Circus more than should be required by any human being. I was licked on my jaw by the drunkest woman who ever drunked. I’ve been pushed aside by grown adults for cupcakes. It turns out that the pretty girls take the 41. I make the messiest burrito in Whole Foods history. I almost never get enough sleep. My roommate puts together a mean Thanksgiving. I miss the Get Back like craaaazy. I’ve come dangerously close to being homesick. I miss my co-workers and my buddies. I’m excited to fly home (12/18!).

I think that covers most of it for right now. I’m late for bed, PER USUAL.

Having worked at the same company for nearly eight years, I’d forgotten that job hunting can be a pretty long process. Phone interviews turn into face-to-face meetings which turn into CEO meetings which turn into team meetings which turn into decision-making and a practice in patience. And as the weeks go by, panic starts to set in. What starts as a fast and furious journey through a new city quickly becomes a game of Sit At Home Always For Fear of Spending Money.

So, there hasn’t been much to update. My time at home has been a mixed bag. I’ve never been without work for this long and have felt my brain slowing down to a halt. I’ve spent a fair amount of time becoming irrationally incensed over Sarah Palin. I biked across the Golden Gate Bridge and finally visited Fisherman’s Wharf. Bought some Levi’s. Tried Jack in the Box. Walked a lot. Exercised very little. Went to see a Giants’ game. But, ultimately, I just read Boing Boing a whole bunch.

But today, I landed my job and it’s time to become an actual, functioning, social human being again. I will be starting at the end of next week which should allow me a full 8 days of carefree enjoyment of life. I hope to take advantage of it. First stop: burrito hunting in the Mission.  Wish me luck.

Something of note: nude color bras are actually not my favorite. Otherwise, the video is pretty accurate. Clearly money well spent. And of course I have a trampoline behind my desk.

Of course, in practice, the ordeal is far more stressful and soul-wrenching than I had ever expected.

My first crack at mix swap participation was an unmitigated disaster. With a recommended theme of “love” (Valentine’s day was our due date), my entry was an over-thought mess of skippable tracks, some of which were loosely related to the theme. Most weren’t related at all. One was clearly about being too old to be friends with girls whom you’d rather bone. There were some classics but, for the most part, they were buried beneath layers of hey-check-out-this-shit-that-I-hope-you’ve-never-heard-before and please-be-impressed-with-my-superior-musical-taste. It was chock full of songs with which I had only a passing familiarity. It was wholly forgettable. And I spent HOURS on it.

What the hell happened? In my mix-making heyday, this stuff came easy. I’d grab a cassette and load it up with songs I’d listened to a billion times, and I’d give it to a friend who already knew everything about me. On my first foray into mix-making in adulthood, however, I obviously made a point to appear “with it” for people with whom my relationship is purely professional. I mean, would things have been so bad had I loaded the mix up with Braid and Christie Front Drive, the basis for so many mixes past? Would my coworkers think any less of me if I used the project as a means to indulge nostalgia and unearth some classic Built to Spill and Chisel? Who knows. Surely, it would have been more genuine and enjoyable for me had I gone that route. But does that mean that’s what I’ll be doing for our next mix (due June 20)?

Hell no. In fact, this one is already shaping up to be an unlistenable shitstorm. So far, it contains a remix of a Lykke Li track which is far inferior to any album cut she has (but those are obviously off limits as anyone with an internet connection has already heard them). Then, there’s a Fleetwood Mac song. An 80s-era Fleetwood Mac. There’s a Feelies song (one of those bands you’re supposed to like but don’t). There’s a Los Shakers song (who??). There’s an unreleased Yeasayer song that I painstakingly ripped from a video of a live performance as the track isn’t even properly recorded yet. And hey, what Galaxie 500 song is on there? I couldn’t tell you, but there is one. And so on.

I’m not looking to hyper-intellectualize the art of mix-making or the purpose of creating one at all. I’m just saying that mixes of old had a clear message: “I hope we can listen to these songs while we’re making out in my car or in your dorm room while your roommate is at class because I like you and we should probably get star tattoos together.” But, as a 30 year old, swapping mixes with faceless, ultra-hip co-workers, the message gets a little weird. “Here’s some killer Excel accompaniment, and sure, I’ve heard of MGMT.” Or “groove to this whilst prepping for your big meeting, dear 20-something and if you need any more obscure 80s britpop, you know where to find it!” And, obviously, “PLEASE BELIEVE ME, I KNOW A TON ABOUT MUSIC, and am definitely cool. We should probably make out in my car.”

So, in the spirit of making a mix that recalls a time I’d actually make a mix, I’ve created the first IIF? Muxtape. It’s entitled, “Sincere as a Statue: 1996-2001.” It could have been 5 hours long. Instead, it’s 40 minutes. Enjoy. Don’t judge.

Tracklist:
Jimmy Eat World, “What Would I Say to You Now?”
Christie Front Drive, “Radio”
Braid, “Forever Got Shorter”
Damien Jurado, “Ocean Shores ’87″
Built to Spill, “Car”
American Football, “The One With the Tambourine”
Jejune, “Early Stars”
Modest Mouse, “Polar Opposites”
Mock Orange, “Window Shopping”
The Get Up Kids, “Off the Wagon”
Texas is the Reason, “Back and to the Left”
The Promise Ring, “Between Pacific Coasts”