Me: When you moved in, I had a full set of dishes that my grandmother gave me. She managed to keep them for 30 years. You come here and suddenly I’m down to a single bowl.

Craigslist Roommate: Man, those dishes were old. Old dishes break!

Me: They just broke, in your hands, because they’re old?

Craigslist Roommate: Not in my hands. On the ground.

On Saturday, my roommate asked me to do his laundry for him. For perspective, here are some things you need to know about our relationship:

1. We are “Craigslist roommates”
1a. We are not friends

Given 1 and 1a, this is an absurd request. It’s akin to asking me for help in sandwich-crust-removal or teeth-brushing. Shoe-tying. Being a freaking adult. Read more