Sep

3

Staying Single: Bringing What Back?

Filed Under I Am An Idiot, Staying Single | 1 Comment

A few weeks ago, a good friend and I took a trip to the dance clubs we used to frequent before getting meat-headded out of them. It was fun… nostalgic but with plenty reminders that avoiding these places for another few years is probably the best course of action. And although I felt immediately at home in these familiar places, I also found myself in some very UNfamiliar scenarios. Luckily, my insanity was quick to restore order and assure that I went home alone. Read more

Jul

20

Staying Single: Skirts and Gum

Filed Under I Am An Idiot, Music, Staying Single | 2 Comments

This is an oldie. It’s not a goodie. And while it may start as a glorious tale of “I knew this band way before anyone else did,” it certainly ends in a flaming pile of “this dude is a goddamn shithead.” Read more

Jul

1

Assholes Have the Right of Way

Filed Under I Am An Idiot | 2 Comments

I get uppity over the dumbest things sometimes. I mean, I guess everyone has their pet-peeves. But I feel like mine are massively silly and will likely serve as the basis for my being institutionalized. Like, I REALLY HATE wedge shoes of any kind. An “E-A-G-L-E-S, EAGLES” chant at a Phillies game. Or even when people use the words “natch” or “vacay” instead of “naturally” and “vacation.” It all gets my goat, makes me lose sleep at night, and makes me certifiably insane. Read more

Jun

19

Staying Single: Dancing With Girls

Filed Under I Am An Idiot, Staying Single | Leave a Comment

One of the main reasons I decided to blog was to publicly highlight all of the things I do to ensure I’ll remain single forever. There are many of these and they vary wildly in their degree of ridiculousness. But combined, these quirks have done a fair job in alerting pretty girls that I am, in fact, a total idiot.

Here’s a really stupid one. I have a physical inability to dance with attractive women. Read more